Brown: So are you going to run for governor?

Barkley: I plan on it in 2014.

Brown: You are serious.

Barkley: I am, I can’t screw up Alabama.

Brown: There is no place to go but up in your view?

Barkley: We are number 48 in everything and Arkansas and Mississippi aren’t going anywhere.

HEH.

#14: Rapjam Volume One
Oh Jesus, this one hurts. It’s a game starring real-life rap stars, but not doing the things you might be interested in seeing. There’s no rapping, no dancing, no booty… it’s not even set in the exciting and murderous world of rap music. It’s a game about basketball. That’s right, in some sort of video game-making joke that went too far, you get to fantasize about being a rapper fantasizing about being a basketball player. To put it in terms you might be able to better understand, but probably pretend not to, it’s like when I’m pretending to be TV’s hunky Matt LeBlanc having sex with a cantaloupe which we both pretend is Lynda Carter while she’s pretending to be SCUBA Wonder Woman.

Read the whole thing..

In “Monty Python and the Holy Grail,” King Arthur and his knights come across Camelot, and at least initially, couldn’t be more pleased. After thinking it over, and considering exactly what goes on inside Camelot, Arthur concludes, “On second thought, let’s not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.”

I’ve come to think of the Iowa caucuses in the same light. Before the nominating process begins in earnest, Iowa has a certain Midwestern charm, filled with voters who appreciate their role in picking the next president. Like Camelot, it’s something to look forward to. But as we finally come upon Jan. 3, and get a look at what’s involved, it’s pretty obvious that the Iowa caucuses are much too silly….

Voting by absentee ballot is prohibited. There are no secret ballots, a bedrock democratic principle. The notion of “one-person, one-vote” does not really apply (the NYT noted that votes are weighted according to a precinct’s past level of participation)…

And just to add insult to injury, no one is allowed to know exactly how many Iowans actually voted for the different candidates — the Iowa Democratic Party gets the numbers, but keeps them private. (The results that designate the “winner” only reflect the share of state delegates each candidate has won.) As Greenfield noted, it means “a candidate who turned out more total supporters than anyone else, across the state, could wind up in second or third place — and no one will know.”

This process should not be tolerated. The Democrat’s caucus in Iowa violates every principle of modern democratic elections the DNC should decertify the process and everyone should ignore Iowa’s Democratic caucus until they institute reforms as the Republicans have.

“Who is your favorite author?” Aleya Deatsch, 7, of West Des Moines asked Mr. Huckabee in one of those posing-like-a-shopping-mall-Santa moments.

Mr. Huckabee paused, then said his favorite author was Dr. Seuss.

In an interview afterward with the news media, Aleya said she was somewhat surprised. She thought the candidate would be reading at a higher level.

“My favorite author is C. S. Lewis,” she said.